Sexpire: A Sex-Positive Empire

Posts From Your Residential Amateur

Are You Fit Enough For Sex? June 14, 2009

Filed under: advice,General,Sex — deverton @ 2:11 pm
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No, this isn’t about weight. This is about fitness. I have always been a fit person, even though I have some junk in the trunk and fattic in the attic. You know those erection enhancer commercials that always warn “Make sure with your doctor that you are healthy enough for sex”? What is that about? Well, sex in itself is a workout! Sometimes, it can be a marathon. Or a triathlon, or heck, it can be the Olympics!

Now studies have shown that sex can burn calories, reduce stress, and help with muscle and joint pain. I also feel that there is a key componant to sex: you should work out once a week. Why once a week? Well, if you don’t feel you need to lose weight, commiting to a once a week thing should be a piece of cake. Just do it for thirty minutes. I know what you’re saying, “Dani, why are you telling me to work out? Do you want me to stop reading the blog post right now and work out?” Don’t feel I am lecturing you, hear me out. I think a small workout can improve your outlook on yourself. Many people complain of poor body image, but let me tell you, after a few bicep curls with my weights, I think I look damn fucking sexy. You will too! Here’s what I do:

Get a Wii Fit, now. It’s one of the most high-tech, interactive and FUN (yes, caps needed) piece of workout material I have ever worked with. I have DVDs upon DVDs of various workouts ranging from aerobics, bellydancing, yoga, kickboxing, and budokon and martial arts. None compare to the Wii Fit. What makes the Wii Fit better? It tracks your weight, progress, and workouts  for you, teaches you about your body, and even gives you an incentive to work out. You have to earn more credits (minutes) of working out to get all the material. You have a starter of five exercises per genre of workouts. You can choose from yoga, aerobics, strength training, and balance games.

Do enough exercise to earn 30 minutes (credits) and you’ll probably unlock a lot of stuff already for your next week workout! After you worked up a sweat (and you will, don’t let an innocent Nintendo fool you!), go take a cold rinse through your hair and look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t you feel sexy and happy? Maybe a little tired, sure, but damn, you’re glowing! You’re feeling better about yourself, accomplished, and like you’re on top of the world. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise can increase oxygen in tissue and skin (that’s where that glow comes from!), relieve pain, and the endorphins sent out can relieve stress, anxiety, and depression. When you’re happy, you’ll want to have sex! No one wants to have sex when they’re depressed.

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Hello world! May 16, 2009

Welcome! I’m Dani, your polyamorous, transgender, feminist and amateur sex expert! Why amateur? Well, I can’t really call myself a sex therapist, which is what I think a sex expert is. I mean, they went through all that schooling, and while taking off-campus “courses” like 101 blowjobs (that’s right, 101 blowjobs. Not blowjobs 101) is an amazing feat in itself, it doesn’t earn a degree. Someday that may change! But for now, you’ll have to bear with me and join me for the ride. Here’s a few common questions:

What’s the deal with the big words?

Now, some of my language may sound academic. This whole “polyamorous” word and “cisgender” and “feminist”; those are intimidating words, right? Well, Google helps. If you do not know something, feel free to Google it, or even ask me. Hell, I may even end up Googling it FOR you! In all honesty, I talk like I speak, and I am not exactly all that smart. C’mon, I don’t have a PH.D in my lap. I’ll keep it simple, okay? While we’re at it, I’ll be using some “brash” words, like cunt, cock, penis, pussy, ass, rimjob, etc. Why? Because they aren’t bad words. They aren’t mean words, either. They are words in the English language that society deems as unseemly and dirty, thus being bleeped out and (at one point) cropped out of books. Hooray for non-censorship!

Is this blog really 18+?

Technically, it is not. I was a teen once (I’m 20, that wasn’t that long ago…) and I had very little resources in person. So where did I turn to? The internet. Now, a lot of it was really bad, filled with viruses, and probably some real life ones, and icky. However, Google was formed and transformed everything. I could easily type in a question and things would actually pop up that pertained to it. That’s how I found out about Tristan Taormino, Annie Sprinkle, Kate Bornstein, and a whole slew of lovely women who basically taught me everything I know today. However, because of legalities, a lot of this stuff has to be considered 18+. I’ll go under a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy on here. If you email me and mention your age, that’s fine. However, if you comment, and you put your age, eh, I may get in trouble. I don’t need your parents emailing me or calling me to tell me I am perverting you, even though I am happily in a threesome.

Threesome? What are you, in an orgy cult?

No, I am polyamorous. It basically means I feel the inner capacity and ability to love more than one person romantically. Right now, I am in what’s called a triad. A triad is three people consensually date each other, all together. My partners are: Griff, a fellow FTM, and Steph who is biologically male but is genderqueer/fluid, and I often refer to Steph as a she. Sorry if there’s going to be confusion!

You’re transgender. What’s that?

I’m a FTM. That means, female to male. Now, have I had any surgeries? No. Will I? Maybe. It costs a lot of money, and hormones are expensive as well. Many people experience gender dysphoria, where we feel that our body does not match our brains. Mentally, I’m all male. Yes, I feel erections (not all FTMs do, don’t confuse this), get stereotypically male, and don’t notice my anatomy unless it is pointed out to me. I prefer male pronouns, and feel I am a male.

So wait, if you want to be a dude, don’t you like chicks?

Well, I’m a vegetarian, so no. Okay, I won’t play dumb. I consider myself pansexual. That means I love people regardless of gender identity and sex. Sometimes I call myself bisexual, to simplify things. Basically, I love people, not the outside.

Isn’t gender and sex the same?

No. Gender is the mental, while sex is the physical. A lot of times, they don’t match up, or become interwoven, or developed over time.