Welcome! I’m Dani, your polyamorous, transgender, feminist and amateur sex expert! Why amateur? Well, I can’t really call myself a sex therapist, which is what I think a sex expert is. I mean, they went through all that schooling, and while taking off-campus “courses” like 101 blowjobs (that’s right, 101 blowjobs. Not blowjobs 101) is an amazing feat in itself, it doesn’t earn a degree. Someday that may change! But for now, you’ll have to bear with me and join me for the ride. Here’s a few common questions:
What’s the deal with the big words?
Now, some of my language may sound academic. This whole “polyamorous” word and “cisgender” and “feminist”; those are intimidating words, right? Well, Google helps. If you do not know something, feel free to Google it, or even ask me. Hell, I may even end up Googling it FOR you! In all honesty, I talk like I speak, and I am not exactly all that smart. C’mon, I don’t have a PH.D in my lap. I’ll keep it simple, okay? While we’re at it, I’ll be using some “brash” words, like cunt, cock, penis, pussy, ass, rimjob, etc. Why? Because they aren’t bad words. They aren’t mean words, either. They are words in the English language that society deems as unseemly and dirty, thus being bleeped out and (at one point) cropped out of books. Hooray for non-censorship!
Is this blog really 18+?
Technically, it is not. I was a teen once (I’m 20, that wasn’t that long ago…) and I had very little resources in person. So where did I turn to? The internet. Now, a lot of it was really bad, filled with viruses, and probably some real life ones, and icky. However, Google was formed and transformed everything. I could easily type in a question and things would actually pop up that pertained to it. That’s how I found out about Tristan Taormino, Annie Sprinkle, Kate Bornstein, and a whole slew of lovely women who basically taught me everything I know today. However, because of legalities, a lot of this stuff has to be considered 18+. I’ll go under a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy on here. If you email me and mention your age, that’s fine. However, if you comment, and you put your age, eh, I may get in trouble. I don’t need your parents emailing me or calling me to tell me I am perverting you, even though I am happily in a threesome.
Threesome? What are you, in an orgy cult?
No, I am polyamorous. It basically means I feel the inner capacity and ability to love more than one person romantically. Right now, I am in what’s called a triad. A triad is three people consensually date each other, all together. My partners are: Griff, a fellow FTM, and Steph who is biologically male but is genderqueer/fluid, and I often refer to Steph as a she. Sorry if there’s going to be confusion!
You’re transgender. What’s that?
I’m a FTM. That means, female to male. Now, have I had any surgeries? No. Will I? Maybe. It costs a lot of money, and hormones are expensive as well. Many people experience gender dysphoria, where we feel that our body does not match our brains. Mentally, I’m all male. Yes, I feel erections (not all FTMs do, don’t confuse this), get stereotypically male, and don’t notice my anatomy unless it is pointed out to me. I prefer male pronouns, and feel I am a male.
So wait, if you want to be a dude, don’t you like chicks?
Well, I’m a vegetarian, so no. Okay, I won’t play dumb. I consider myself pansexual. That means I love people regardless of gender identity and sex. Sometimes I call myself bisexual, to simplify things. Basically, I love people, not the outside.
Isn’t gender and sex the same?
No. Gender is the mental, while sex is the physical. A lot of times, they don’t match up, or become interwoven, or developed over time.